I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My ass is underappreciated
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
