My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize