I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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