Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish I only lived at night.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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