I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I look better un-naked...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
