either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
