love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize