i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
