He disabled his match.com account in front of me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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