So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish I only lived at night.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
