Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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