she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
