no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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