fuck your aforementioned shoe
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize