He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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