Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
