I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
