i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Randomize
