i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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