i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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