You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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