man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
