I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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