Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
