They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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