thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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