i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
