Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
