On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize