Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
