dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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