I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
