no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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