we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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