We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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