they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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