And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
