3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
