I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
