had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
