I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
