u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
