Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There r osticjed everywhere
What a dumb baby whore.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
