i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
