There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
