yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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