he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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