I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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