Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
