I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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