you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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