So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
