There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
