I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
