Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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