Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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