I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
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I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
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Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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