dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
