I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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