dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
