Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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