Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
