11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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