Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I looked at my own cervix.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
