I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
