Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i think i just lost a toe
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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