someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
a search helicopter?!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
